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The Couples Therapist Couch

Apr 16, 2019

When working with clients in therapy I often wonder if someone might be displaying aspects of narcissism. I often question myself and my reality. It is important to realize that partner of people with narcissism feel this way all the time. The following is from Wendy Behary's website:

Typically, narcissists display ten of the following thirteen traits:

  1. Self-absorbed – Acts like everything is all about him or her
  2. Entitled – Makes the rules; breaks the rules
  3. Demeaning – Puts you down, bullyish
  4. Demanding – of whatever he or she wants
  5. Distrustful  – Suspicious of your motives when you’re being nice to him or her
  6. Perfectionistic – Rigidly high standards – his or her way or no way
  7. Snobbish – Believes he or she is superior to you and others; gets bored easily
  8. Approval seeking – Craves constant praise and recognition
  9. Unempathic- Uninterested in understanding your inner experience or unable to do so
  10. Unremorseful – Cannot offer a genuine apology
  11. Compulsive – Gets overly consumed with details and minutiae
  12. Addictive – Cannot let go of bad habits; uses them to self soothe
  13. Emotionally detached – Steers clear of feeling

Wendy Behary is a leader in working with people with narcissism. She is the founder and director of The Cognitive Therapy Center of New Jersey and The Schema Therapy Institutes of NJ-NYC and DC. She wrote the book Disarming the Narcissist: Surviving and Thriving with the Self-Absorbed.

The Couples Therapist Couch is the podcast for Couples Therapists about the practice of couples therapy. The host, Shane Birkel, interviews an expert in the field of couples therapy each week.

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Find out more about the book Disarming the Narcissist

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